Almost a year has passed since this journey of cancer craziness began. I’m not mad or angry, but at times, I am sad. I’m sad for the hopes, dreams, and plans that will never happen, sad for the carefreeness of life that has vanished, sad for the lives that are forever changed by this disease. What about the journey ahead?
Hear My Voice
In February, I was selected by Living Beyond Breast Cancer (LBBC) to be a member of their Hear My Voice Advocacy Program. I joined 30 other program participants for four days of Zoom training. We met virtually; we shared stories, and we learned to advocate for LBBC, for ourselves, and for greater metastatic breast cancer funding and research. Participation in the program afforded us the opportunity to attend the 2024 LBBC Conference for Metastatic Breast Cancer, Thriving Together, held in Philadelphia in April. After training, I was anxious to attend the conference, meet our advocacy cohort in person, as well as attend the various sessions of a well-packed agenda.
The conference
Mark and I drove to Philadelphia to attend the conference. I was anxious and excited to try out my new skills and be a part of this event. To my surprise, it was much bigger than I was expecting: 500 women and men all living with metastatic breast cancer. All ages, ethnicities, genders, and personal preferences were represented…metastatic breast cancer doesn’t discriminate, it can affect anyone. The sessions were informative: Testing in MBC, Medical Advances in the Treatment of Metastatic Breast Cancer, a Hands-on Tool Kit for Managing Stress and Anxiety, and Shared Voices: Learning From Each Other.
Mixed emotions
The conference was great—informative sessions, good food, and time for socializing. It was more than I was expecting. I should have been feeling positive and elated. There have been huge advances in treatment, many treatment options available, and new ones on the horizon. But, it left me very sad. I looked around the room and thought, how many of these people won’t be here next year, will I?
As I listened, stories were shared of treatment journeys, failed treatments, and side effects. I left the conference informed and aware of all the advances in treatment that have been made over the years, but I also left very sad. What will my journey be? How many different treatment options will I have to endure? How long will each treatment work? What will my quality of life be?
Gaining Perspective
Later that week, I had an appointment with my oncologist who could tell upon entering the room that I wasn’t my usual self. I told her about the conference and how, instead of feeling positive and optimistic, I was feeling sad. She reminded me that this is MY journey. I need to put the side blinders on and look straight ahead because no two people follow the same path. My journey is guaranteed to have ups and downs, even some curves, but it will be my journey. So onward I go into the next day, the next month, the next year. My fight goes on. I came to her office feeling downhearted and left feeling optimistic. And I’m ready to face the journey ahead. A huge thank you to my oncologist.
Cancer changes people. It sculpts us into someone who understands more deeply, hurts more often, appreciates more quickly, cries more easily, hopes more desperately, loves more openly, and lives more passionately.
— Brandi
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