Today was the 8th consecutive week that I have gone for bloodwork. I used to dread having blood drawn. Just the thought of it sent shivers down my spine. Since August, I have had many, many vials of blood drawn. It really hasn’t been that bad. The phlebotomists have been wonderful. Cheerful, gentle, and the little pinch that they tell you you are going to feel is actually a little pinch that I barely feel.
What I dread now is waiting for the results. The results of one blood test are returned in three minutes; the results of the other two tests will take until tomorrow. I leave the office and get to my car, and there’s an email notification. The new test results are in the portal.
On days like today, I eagerly look at the results. My blood count numbers, which have been low since mid-November, have been steadily climbing. I had a pretty good feeling these numbers were going to be good. And I was right.
It’s the waiting for tomorrow’s results that is difficult. These numbers have been getting progressively worse, higher week by week. Will this week be the turning point? Is it the beginning of a downward trend? Or will they rise? If they do, what does that mean as far as treatment and cancer spread? All day long, you try not to think about it, but it’s there in the back of your mind. You go to bed and try to sleep, but it’s there… all the what-ifs. Tomorrow midmorning, I will get the email that there are new test results in the portal. It is with shaking hands that I will look. I will be either elated or deflated.
I look forward to the blessing of another new day, but I am waiting and wondering what’s next.
—Brandi
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