For me, August is one of those months with no red letter dates—no big holidays, only a few birthdays, but nothing major to celebrate. That is…until this year. August now has a new meaning…it’s my METAversary. It has been one year since I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Cheers to one year!
A change in the weather
When I was first diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (MBC), it felt like there was a dark cloud hanging over my head with lightning waiting to strike. Over the past year, the clouds have brightened, the lightning is off in the distance, and the sun is peeping through the clouds. I’m realistic, knowing that those days won’t last forever, and there will be days with clouds, pop-up showers, wind, and hail. So I am embracing this scary, beautiful life I am living and making my time count.
What a transforming year it has been. The initial disbelief has been replaced with acceptance. Grief for an altered and shortened future has been replaced with gratitude for each day. A feeling of discouragement after my first line of treatment failed has been replaced by optimism with my current treatment. The past year has been a mixture of joy, sorrow, peace, and contentment, reinforcing that I’m not in control—all things happen in God’s perfect time.
A Change in Perspective
In some ways, I have changed my focus from thinking and planning future adventures to living them now. It has been quite a year of bucket list journeys: an Alaskan cruise, hiking to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back to the summit, biking the Katy Trail, and there are more to come.
Before my diagnosis, would I have done all these adventures in one year? No, never. I would have said, “I can do that next year.” Now, unsure of what next year will bring, I take advantage of opportunities. I just keep telling myself I’m not ready for my angel wings yet; I still have a lot of living to do.
A Change of Heart
Cancer has changed me. I am kinder and gentler with myself and with others. I know what is important in my life. It’s not things; it’s people, memories, laughter, and love. It’s living in the present but having a goal, a trip, or something waiting on the horizon. It’s going to bed each night with a grateful heart and being blessed to wake up to see a new day.
Happy METAversary,
— Brandi
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