Sometimes, God takes you on a journey you didn’t know you needed to bring you everything you ever wanted. Trust the plan.
2025…a new year, a year full of new challenges, new possibilities, and new adventures. Beginning a new year is like cracking the spine of a brand-new book. What will the pages hold? Will it be a drama or an adventure? What characters will we meet throughout the pages? Will it have a happy or sad ending? Will it become a series?
Before I begin page one of my 2025 book, I wanted to reread my 2024 book. What a book it is, chapter after chapter filled with accomplishments, adventures, anxiety, new faces, family and friends.
The Chapters of 2024
It was one of the toughest but best years of my life. I learned so much about myself, my faith, and my determination to be a survivor. You would think that being diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer would be the worst thing you could think of, but I honestly can say that I have spent the past year focusing on living. I’m choosing to embrace every day, seek joy, and live a full life while on this crazy cancer ride. Some days, it’s easy; other days, it’s harder.
2024 started with the disappointment of a failed first line of treatment. That disappointment has been replaced with optimism as my second line of treatment appears to be working, with very few side effects. But always in the back of my mind is the thought, “How long will this last?” And when it fails, as it eventually will, I’ll move on to the next line of treatment, and the next, and the next. I keep telling myself there are so many treatment options available.
Scanxiety
Scanxiety, the distress before, during, and after a cancer-related scan, is a real thing. I’m currently waiting for the results of my December 30th PET scan. It’s the waiting, the unknown, and whether there will be a decrease in the size of the tumors. Will they have increased, or will the cancer have spread to another part of my body? The waiting is the hard part. Every three months I anxiously await the results of scans, knowing that one day the results won’t be good. I’m always wondering, will it be this time?
Just WoW
While 2024 had its share of tough days, they were far outnumbered by fantastic days. It was a year filled with making memories, meeting new people, adventures, and self-discovery.
Had it not been for this crazy cancer ride…
- I never would have met the Rainbow Riders. This group of bike-riding women supported our Sister Sojourn metastatic breast cancer (MBC) fundraising efforts, celebrated with us at the end of our Katy Trail bike ride, and became our true friends.
- Without the help of so many others, I would never have raised over $50,000 for MBC research. The support of family and friends, who selflessly gave their time and talents, made two “Puzzles, Pedals and Pies” social speed puzzling fundraising events very successful.
- I would never have had a year filled with so many adventures. My 2024 “book” is filled with snapshots from the visits to Napa Valley and Point Reyes National Seashore, our hike down and back up the Grand Canyon on the South Kaibab Trail, the bike journey across Missouri on the Katy Trail, and bike riding from Prague to Vienna.
- I never would have become Grandi. My greatest joy this past year has been the birth of our first grandchild, a grandson, Rowan Frederick. I know Olivia and Josh planned to start a family in the next few years, but my diagnosis fast-tracked those plans. There is nothing better than being “Grandi” to Rowan. He is a sweet, cuddly bundle of joy, and I’m so grateful for every day I get to spend with him. I don’t know what my future holds, if Rowan will know me or remember me, but thank you, Olivia and Josh, for giving me the title of Grandi.
- I never would have realized how little control I have throughout this journey. MBC not only controls your body but also your mind. You can’t escape it; it’s always there in the back of your mind. The little I can control—eating right, exercising, and staying positive—won’t cure me but may give me added months, hopefully, years. This journey, God’s plan, has been and is a journey of patience, empathy, compassion, faith, perseverance, resilience, humility, trust, awareness, purpose, grief, beauty, and life. And I wouldn’t change it for anything.
Cheers to not just surviving but living in 2024. Now, the 2025 story begins. I’m looking forward to living each page and each chapter of the 2025 book.
Let the adventure begin.
— Brandi
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