“We can’t always choose the music that life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance to it.” — Unknown
The music is loud and festive today. My dancing shoes are on—it’s my birthday.
This past year has been quite an adventure. The changing seasons were full of health challenges, renewed faith, disappointment, happiness, sadness, and opportunities. The music wasn’t always loud and festive. Sometimes, it was somber. At other times, it was lively. There were moments when the dancing shoes moved slowly while I kicked up my heels other times. And through it all, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Looking back
After a lengthy illness, my father passed away. It was sad, yet it wasn’t. He was 91 and had lived a long, good life. It made me realize there is rejoicing in a life well-lived, and sometimes death is a blessing; the pain and suffering are over. There is comfort in knowing the reward for my dad is secure. The old-school country twang of his good-humored, made-up songs and his mischievous smile played in my mind.
As the seasons turned, the tune changed from a celebration of life to something more somber. I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (MBC). Treatment has been a rocky road. My first line of treatment lasted two months and was stopped due to liver complications.
Now, once again, the tempo has changed. I am happy to report that after no treatment and weekly bloodwork since mid-December, my liver enzyme numbers are almost back to normal, and I have been cleared to start a new line of treatment. Let’s hope I have better success with this one. Also, I had my first six-month follow-up PET scan. It was compared to the original PET scan done at diagnosis. I am ecstatic to report that the cancer-related lymph node issues in my neck have resolved, some of the tumors in my chest are smaller, and there has been no change to the nodules in my lungs. There has been no new progression. Woohoo! “Celebrate good times, come on.” — Kool and the Gang
Adventuring
So far, this year has provided numerous opportunities to travel and experience amazing adventures. Mark and I took a road trip to Wyoming. We embarked on an Alaskan cruise with friends. I went to California for my niece’s wedding. Most recently, I hiked down to the bottom and back up again on the Grand Canyon’s South Kaibab Trail.
In between were numerous trips to Bethany Beach, Delaware (my happy place) and Columbia, South Carolina. In Columbia, we helped Olivia and Josh move into their first home. The news that we would be elevated to grandparent status in September was the best. And it’s a boy!!!!
The Willie Nelson song “On the Road Again” illustrates my perspective:
On the road again
Goin’ places that I’ve never been
Seein’ things that I may never see again
And I can’t wait to get on the road again
What’s Ahead?
What a year! In the beginning, having metastatic breast cancer was all I thought about. There is no cure; I’m going to die.
Now I don’t think about it until someone says, “Where are we going to hike next year?” or “I can’t wait to take the baby strawberry picking.” Then a little voice pops up, saying, “Will you be able to hike next year? Will you even be alive?’ or “Will you be alive to see the baby take his first steps?” It took me a while to realize that I am no different than everyone else. No one is guaranteed next year or even tomorrow. So I will live life to the fullest, plan for the future, laugh, cry, enjoy the journey—no matter how long or short—and look for the joy and gratitude that can be found everywhere.
I can’t control the music of my life, but I can control how I dance to it. And I plan to do a lot of crazy dancing. For now, Happy Birthday to me, and in the lyrics of Sheryl Crow…
I’m gonna soak up the sun
I’m gonna tell everyone to lighten up
I’m gonna tell ’em that I’ve got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame, I’m lookin’ up
— Brandi
You can help.
